Eleanor Henderson

Dark Star: Dora

It was going to be ok. Maybe. Dora sat on the porch, waiting in the dark with her carryalls, with everything she had in this world packed in two little bags. She felt hopeful for the first time since the Church had sent her to Hell. Hell was named Zack, her “Guardian.”

Dora had met her Guardian in an Alcoholics Anonymous Shelter while he was Getting Back on his Feet. The Church sent her there to do Good Works, such as cooking and cleaning. Her parents thought that, at 15 years old, she had become too much of a Handful, and should be Taken in Hand. The Apostle had considered what to do with her. He had Commanded that she work for the Poor and Fallen at the AA Shelter. She had done so, and gotten a Good Report from the shelter supervisors. Pleased, he had ordered her to be brought in for Spiritual Counseling. Bessie and Mae, two women of the Service Guild, had walked with her to the Apostle’s Meeting Room, and stood outside the door as she was Counseled. Bessie and Mae had white hair and bent shoulders. They watched Dora a lot at Church, but she did not know why for awhile. They were not happy, and not very respectful when the Apostle opened the door. The Apostle was not pleased to see them, and ordered them Away. But they bowed like anything, and talked about Maintaining Appearances, so he nodded and Tolerated their Suggestion. He was very tall, and had a great Beard and Full Hair like the pictures on the Church Ceiling. He was large and soft about the belly, and smelled faintly of perfume and sweat. Dora bowed her head and remembered to Be Respectful. He had examined her carefully, so carefully she held her breath and did not move.

“Yes,” he said finally. “You must be Taken in Hand, lest you Fall.”

He spoke in a flowing manner that rose and fell like a prophecy. He thought for a time, then said that he had Seen the Right Guardian for Dora, a Good Man with a Good Job selling Cars. This was a Man who could Take Her in Hand.

Dora did not want to be Taken in Hand, and begged her parents to let her Stay Home and Grow Up. She promised to Be Good and Not Talk Back. She told them that Zack had a Temper and had Fallen to Drink several times. He Got Back on his Feet, but never for long. Yet the Apostle had Seen Dora and Zack together, surrounded by Heavenly Light. Her parents agreed to the arrangement, and were glad to be Rid of Dora, who was a Handful.

Dora asked what a Guardian was, and her parents and the Apostle told her that she was too Forward, and she would soon find out. After the Arrangement Ceremony, her Guardian took her to a little condo, which was nicer than where her parents lived. She could walk to a Nice Area nearby with a Park and some Shops. She thought maybe it would Work Out all right. It had nice new Beige Carpet upstairs and downstairs, nice Blue Tiles in the bathroom, and two bedrooms upstairs with Views of some Trees. Dora had never had a View before. She was a little scared to say anything, but Got Brave and said that she really Liked the Condo, and could she put her things in the smaller room now, and he told her he had Business in that Room and she would be Sorry if she ever went in there, and he put her things in a closet downstairs. She never went in there, but she was soon very Sorry anyway.

Zack explained that she was Full of Herself and had to be Taken in Hand. He took away her car keys and her phone, which was very scary. She would need to stay at home and not go to School or the Store or Church and learn to be an Obedient Helpmate, and cook and clean and Tend to Him. He was very strict and taught her about the Dominion of the Guardian, and Conjugal Rights, and Discipline. The neighbors complained about the Noise and said they would Call the Cops. This made Zack Mad, and he said she would be Very Sorry if she kept making Noise.

Zack thought about the Noise Problem, and decided to move. He found a little white Shack a long way from anywhere, and Patched Leaks and Fixed Things. It was cold and creaky and dirty and small. She cleaned a lot, but it didn’t look any better.

Then Bud came. Bud was a Degenerate. She knew that right away from the eyes going back and forth so fast, and from the smell of mouthwash that didn’t cover up the smell of alcohol. And from the smell of cigarette smoke, and other smoke. And from how his feet jiggled when he sat down. But Zack said that Bud was Part of the Family, and he was going to be staying with them while he Got Back on his Feet. Zack warned her to be Modest and Obedient.

Bud had fallen on her life like a great dark shadow. He was loud and said Crude Things. Dora did not like the way he looked at her. Neither did Zack. Dora understood from Zack that she was Displaying Herself Disgracefully. He would have to Discipline her if she did not improve. She had Blacked Out during Discipline last time, which was very Bad because then she could not Learn her Lesson. She had bruises of all colors now. They were not pretty.

Bessie and Mae came to visit her from time to time when Zack and Bud were Away, which was a lot. Zack Sold Cars during the day, and made and took Deliveries at night sometimes, and Bud mostly went with him. Bessie and Mae brought her a jar of cream that smelled nice and eased the pain of bruises. They gave her a pager, which she was instructed to hide, and also told her to pack a go-bag. They did not believe that she was Clumsy or a Handful or Dense. She cried a little and said that they were Saints. They cried a little, too.

Dora had forgotten most of her words because she did not need them; she needed to know where Zack was, and what he was having to eat or drink or smoke or put in his nose, and how he felt. All the time now she felt Great Bright Lights upon her and traps everywhere, and she sometimes tripped and Zack laughed and she couldn’t understand what he said. But she felt his words, and they all meant hard and mean and angry and crush and destroy like the Vengeful God of Dominion and the Guardian’s Rights. It was as bad when he was away, because when he came back he usually had a Plan.

Bud’s eyes were on her now All the Time, and she began to believe that he was Considering Something. Zack’s eyes started going back and forth between her and Bud, and then something scary happened. Zack’s anger Went Cold. Dora wrote a little note to Bessie and Mae about her fear that Something Might Happen very Soon. She handed it to the mailman, who handed it to Bessie and Mae. The mailman was always very polite and nice.

The next day dawned like any other, but it wasn’t a day like any other. Zack’s mouth tightened into a hard line with a curl at one end when he woke and saw her. For the first time, Zack’s eyes were hard when he looked at Bud over the table at breakfast. Bud got a hard look in his eyes, too, and there was a feeling like a thunderstorm about to break. That night, when Dora cleared the dishes after dinner and took them to the kitchen, Bud followed her, close behind her, and touched her rear. Dora kept her feelings very still and moved away. Bud came closer, and laid his hand on her rear again, and began to trace her shape with his hand. Zack stood in the door and looked hard at Bud, who looked hard back. Then the strangest thing happened: Zack smiled. He turned around and walked away from Bud who stared hard at his back. Bud turned his eyes on Dora and looked her up and down very slowly. Dora tried to stay very still, but her eyelid started to twitch and wouldn’t stop. Zack would hate that.

But Zack didn’t notice. He came back downstairs with two bags of gear – one was very heavy – and a large, very thick white envelope in his pocket, with “Confidential” written in large, neat black letters. He came back to give Dora a little peck on the cheek, and a nod to Bud. He said, “Be good.” Somehow, after Zack left, the large white envelope marked “Confidential” lay on the floor of the entranceway.

Bud listened thoughtfully to the hum of Zack’s car as it moved out of sight, then crossed to the front door, picked up the envelope, studied the contents, and whistled, loud and sharp. He looked Dora up and down, slowly, then shook his head.

“Fix us a little snack, won’t you?” It was not a question.

He went upstairs. Dora heard the sounds of the shower, and of a suitcase and a carryall being packed. A knot in her stomach relaxed. She would be safe soon. Bud bounced down the stairs, scarfed down his snack, patted her on the rear again, and said,

“I hate to go, you know. You’re one h____ of a woman.”

He gave her a kiss on the mouth, slapped her rear, and bounced outside with his luggage. He gave her a cheery wave before he drove off.

Dora watched the car move away. She was a little sad. She liked that car, and Zack had once said she could have it if she Behaved.

She sighed and pulled out her pager.

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